“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.” – Carl Jung
Recently, I shared in a conference on sexuality and relationships and as I researched, I read something that for me was astounding. It is said that once you have suffered heartbreak then there is a 75% chance that you may get your heart broken again! Well, as it turns out I am proof of this and I am not happy about it. Mark you, we cannot totally avoid heartaches in life but in this area it has all been too repetitive for me. Part of the reason for this is, I have been slow to learn and in some instances I did not know the signs. I have also allowed my emotions too often to control my decisions.
Therefore, for your sake I am sharing these signs of possible heartbreak so that you can avoid my experiences or find the courage to get out of bad a relationship and begin your journey towards healing and wholeness. In Part 1, we shared about hiddeness and label less/friends with benefits relationships. If you missed it, click Part 1 to read more. In today’s blog I’ll be sharing on: Personal Drama and Quick Rebounds.
Sign #3: Personal Drama
This is a big relational red flag. If you or the person you are with or contemplating being with is currently suffering from significant personal drama, this is definitely a sign that heartbreak is a strong possibility. By personal drama, I mean the person has relational baggage, is divorced or separated and has still not dealt with the issues relating to that. Either you or the individual is still dealing with emotional hurts from previous relationships or having family challenges or financial challenges. This has happened to me and in analyzing my failed relationships, I realize some of my dating partners were experiencing these upheavals or I was experiencing some of these for which the person was comforting me and this clouded my judgement. This resulted in co-dependent relationships a few times.
If the person or you are having significant challenges with children, problems at work, is highly indebted, having custody issues or baby mother/father issues or unresolved family issues, it may not be a good time to get into a relationship. There could also be mental, sexual, physical or emotional problems which are unresolved. If you stay with the individual, these will become your issues and it may lead to heartbreak at a later time. If you are the individual, it will cloud your judgment and you may end up hurting your partner. Take the time to work through these issues before you get involved and mess up someone else’s life and create more problems for yourself.
Can you relate to this any at all?
Sign #4: The Quick Rebound
Following on the heels of personal drama is often a quick rebound. Sometimes with a broken heart we use persons as pacifiers to make the pain go away, seeking comfort in the arms of another and this leads to more heartbreak and abuse. This has been true for me. I realize for seven years I was in a cycle of rebounding until God showed me I needed to stop and wait to be healed before proceeding. I did not even consciously realize what I was doing. Within 4-6 months after one break up I would start dating again. Part of this rebounding and soap opera like activity is based on the lie that we cannot be whole without being in a relationship… A man without a woman is nothing or a woman without a man is nothing. Quick rebounds when one is not healed can lead to heartbreak. Of course there are exceptions but on average and in my case, it has often led to heartbreak.
It’s time to honestly ask yourself if you are about to cause a heartbreak or be on the receiving end? It’s time for some self-examination. Don’t let your emotions get the best of you.
Share the Articles
Well friends, that’s all the sharing for today. Can you relate to these signposts or any of my experiences? If so share this with a friend or a young person to help them make better relational decisions. Feel free to also comment and stay tuned for Part 2/5 where I will share two more signs to avoid a relational disaster and heartbreak.