“…I will never leave you nor forsake you.” So we can confidently say, “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?”
(Heb. 13: 5-6)
Nobody Stays
I did not have a name for it at that time but it presented itself with two words ―“nobody stays,” which caused panic attacks and trepidation.
I remember being in a relationship many years ago, and I was gripped in fear by the idea that this person was going to leave me. I had a panic attack evoked by the thought, “nobody stays.” That thought became a self-fulfilling prophecy and the relationship ended.
The fearful phrase “nobody stays” revealed the fear of abandonment and this fear can lead to relational failures. When I analyzed this fear, I realized it entered from an early age because my father migrated when I was five years old, and I was separated from my mom for eight years in my childhood.
It is essential to overcome this fear if you intend to fulfill your destiny. The fear of abandonment can lead to fixations such as people-pleasing and staying in toxic relationships. It will silence your voice and lead to silent suffering.
Here are three keys that have helped me to overcome the fear of abandonment.
- Recognize It and Take Action
The first key to slaying any irrational fear is to recognize it. Once you know what it is, you can put into place measures to deal with it. This recognition has led me to search for answers both biblical and psychological. Research has played a great role in my victory over it.
- God’s Promise to Never Leave You
In Matthew 28, Jesus says, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” In Psalm 27, we are told that even when our parents forsake us, God will take us up. When I recognized that God will never leave me nor forsake me, I found an anchor of hope and courage to leave negative relationships.
- Finding Real Friends and Knowing Not Everyone Comes to Stay
Another key in overcoming this fear was to identify my real friends, my ride or die circle. I have a group of friends that have been with me through thick and thin and I can be myself with them. I know they love me regardless. This, along with knowing I have God’s eternal love and presence, gives me security and drives away the fear of abandonment
I also understand that not everyone who comes into your life comes to stay. Some people come into your life for different reasons and seasons. People will naturally come and go; don’t take it personally. They come to your aid at different points along your journey and then they go. Don’t believe that everybody is there to stay. This is a sign of maturity and will help you to slay the fear of abandonment.
I trust that these keys will help you to slay the fear of abandonment.
Reflection
- Do you struggle with the fear of abandonment?
- Did you find any of these keys helpful?
- How have you been slaying this fear?
